What else do my kids need to hear?

PA post image“Besides telling them we are getting a divorce what else do my kids need to hear?”

Key messages your kids need to hear from Mom and Dad.

Use the examples below as a guide to help you come up with what to say to kids about why you are getting a divorce. Kids will also need to hear that the love you have for them is not going to change. 

  • While the feelings we have for each other have changed, we will never stop loving you.
  • We know this will be hard for you and we are sorry.
  • You can always love both Mom and Dad.
  • Everyone in the family will have different feelings about the divorce.  We want you to know your feelings don’t have to be the same as ours. If Mom and Dad become unhappy with each other, it doesn’t mean you have to feel unhappy. If Mom is upset with Dad, you don’t have to be upset with Dad.  If Dad is angry with Mom, you don’t have to be angry with Mom. 
  • What has happened between Mom and Dad is not your fault – you are not to blame.
  • Divorce is a grownup problem between Mom and Dad that you cannot change
  • We will always be your Mom and Dad.
  • You will always have a family. Instead of being a family in one home, you will have a family with Dad and a family with Mom
  • We will both continue to be a part of your life.

Keep in mind that talking about divorce isn’t a one off conversation.  Make sure kids know it’s okay to ask questions and talk about how they feel.