And yet, no matter how intelligent, accomplished, successful, or self-enlightened you are, the guilt and responsibility you feel over changing your children’s lives forever is so incredibly HEAVY.
AND when that guilt kicks in, it can be really hard NOT to feel like a bad parent.
As a divorce coach with over 25 years under my belt, I’m here to tell you the fact that you’re reading this page right now says otherwise.
I’m willing to bet that you’re a good parent who landed on this website for a very specific reason.
My guess is you’re here because, more than ANYTHING you want to PROTECT your kids from the fallout. You want your children to have the childhood they deserve and become happy, secure, and resilient human beings.
The problem is you’re not sure what to do or where to turn.
Sure. There are well-intentioned friends and family members with a TON of advice to share about what you should or shouldn’t be doing. Others might be extremely eager to pass on wisdom about what they did during their divorce.
Helpful? Not usually.
And then there’s the world wide web offering limitless amounts of information at 2:00 AM. Which typically leaves you with more questions than answers and more to worry about.
You could read a parenting book. However, you can hardly find the energy to brush your teeth most days. Where in the world will you be able to find the time to read an ENTIRE BOOK?
Here’s the deal, when you are “in it,”
it can be incredibly difficult to find your way out of “it” ON YOUR OWN.
Here’s what I know…
Right now, YOU are your children’s best chance for making it to the other side of this BIG family change and being okay.
Although you may not be able to control the choices your co-parent makes, you do have control over your choices. And those choices have the potential to completely reshape life for you and your kids.
By no means is the task before you a simple one. Divorce is a total game-changer. And when you’re feeling overwhelmed, out of control, stressed out, and stretched thin, it’s easy to lose sight of what’s at stake.
The thing is - you don’t have to go through this alone.
Want help getting life back on track?
Just like with any major life change, having access to helpful information, practical skills, and support makes a huge difference.
As a matter of fact, it is the defining difference between families who get through this process well and those that struggle for years.
How can I be so sure?
Because I’ve been there in more ways than one.
Hi, I’m Christina McGhee
I’m a divorce parenting expert who has had the privilege of teaching, coaching, and talking to thousands of parents and professionals all across the globe. Along the way, I’ve learned volumes about divorce and how it impacts kids.
In addition to being a professional passionate about changing divorce for the better, I’m also a child of divorce and have been where your kids are right now.
When my parents split up, I handled it like lots of kids do, on my own.
Instead of talking about it, I learned to keep quiet and not rock the boat. If a problem cropped up, I felt responsible for finding some way to fix the situation. If something needed to be communicated between my parents, I was often the messenger.
While I’m sure my parents never meant for me to be caught in the middle, that’s exactly where I ended up. Although things were difficult, for a long time, I accepted our family situation, thinking, “that’s just the way things are,” and didn’t look back.
Honestly, it wasn’t until I got married that the impact of divorce hit home for me.
When I said, “I do,” I became more than a blushing bride. I also became a bonus mom (aka stepmom) to two very young kids. Despite my professional background as a social worker, I had no idea what I was signing up for or how much my life would change.
Unfortunately, the “early years” of our co-parenting relationship with their mom were riddled with tension and frequent clashes. There were lots of days when the conflict between our two households cast a pretty dark shadow over our family.
Everything felt heavy, messy, and extremely complicated. I knew if it felt that way to me, it had to feel a hundred times worse for my bonus kids. I had stood in those shoes when my parents divorced. While I wasn’t sure how to make things better, I definitely knew I didn’t want to make them worse.
That’s when I started searching for anything that could help us do this co-parenting thing better. However, despite my best efforts, most of the information I found felt vague, impractical, and didn’t mesh with real life.
And that’s where my journey began.
I made it my mission to help parents do divorce differently and become the coach I wish I’d had in the early stages of our co-parenting journey.
From that point forward, it’s been one wild ride.
Fast forward to today, together, my husband and I have four “adultish” children (for me - two bonus and two bio). In my day-to-day life, I do my best to practice what I preach (which some days is a lot tougher than I’d like).
I’ve certainly made my share of mistakes, fell off the “good co-parenting” wagon, and had to work hard to get back on again.
What I learned…
Parenting is, without a doubt, a labor of love. No matter who you are, how many parenting books you’ve read, or how skillful you may be, I believe there’s a learning curve for all of us when the SHTF.
I completely understand that what I ask my clients to do often feels damn near impossible and, at times, harder than hard. Asking for help, digging deep, and looking at those dark, messy places in your life, takes a lot of courage. Owning what’s yours while biting your tongue and staying focused on your kids requires more than willpower.
It takes a lot of commitment.
Throughout my career, I have been both a learner and a teacher. I have met some amazing parents and have been humbled by their bravery, insight, and unwavering dedication to getting it right for their kids.
I have profound respect for the parents I coach and remain incredibly honored when people choose to work with me.
What I believe 100%
Divorce doesn’t have to equal devastation. While it is undeniably hard, kids can emerge from this experience well-adjusted, insightful and capable.
I believe that the quality of a child’s family life plays a huge role in their development and how they engage with the world moving forward.
Whether it’s in one home or two, the key players in what that family life looks like are parents (*note there’s an “s” on the end of that word) .
Although divorce is a total game-changer, when parents have the right kind of information and support, they have the potential to be a child’s absolute best resource.
If any of this speaks to you and you’re committed to putting your kids at the center of your divorce, not the middle, then we might be a very good fit.
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