Don’t my kids have the right to know the truth?


Sometimes due to our own hurt and pain, you or the other parent may feel strongly that children need to hear the truth. In some families, one parent may be very committed to assigning blame for the divorce. Holding one parent exclusively responsible for the divorce often creates a confusing and difficult situation for children. They will most likely feel very conflicted and worried about either betraying or rejecting a parent. Whether or not you initiated the divorce, do your best to view the situation through your child’s eyes. Children have a right to love both parents.

Consider there are two sides to every story and usually lots of differing opinions when divorce occurs.  No matter how well intentioned you might be, setting the record straight or telling your side of the story often puts children in a no-win situation.  To accept your truth by default they must reject their other parent.

When you have a strong urge to share your side of the story, consider asking yourself the following questions:

  • How will sharing this information help my children?
  • How might sharing this information hurt them?
  • Does this information have the potential to compromise my children’s relationship with their other parent?
  • Why is sharing this sharing this information with my children so important to me?
  • How will sharing this information ultimately change my children’s lives?

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