Talking to Children About Divorce
Helping children of divorce become resilient
HELPING CHILDREN LEARN HOW TO COPE DOESN’T HAPPEN WHEN WE TRY TO FIX THEIR PROBLEMS. And yet, parents do it all the time. I personally happen to be a frequent offender in this department. Even though I teach my clients about this parenting strategy all the time, it’s amazing how often I still catch myself…
Read MoreWhat every parent needs to know about helping kids cope with divorce
Helping kids cope with divorce. 7 minute read When I coach parents about how to help their children cope with divorce, one of the first questions they often ask is “What do I say?” or “How can I talk about this?” And it’s not just that first big talk parents are losing sleepover. There are…
Read MoreI am divorcing an abusive spouse, what do I say to the children?
Q – I am planning to ask my abusive spouse for a divorce. My children ( 8 and 10 yrs old) have witnessed his outbursts and as a result have experienced nightmares and anxiety. What should I say when I am explaining why I am asking for the divorce? A – Telling children about your decision to divorce…
Read MoreShould we tell our preschooler we’re separating?
Q – “My husband and I are separating. Is it okay to hide our plans from our preschooler until we are ready to move, or should we let her know what’s going on?” A – If you already have a plan in place for separating, you need to bite the bullet and have a talk…
Read MoreDecided to divorce but staying in one home until process is final. Should we wait to tell the kids?
Q – My husband and I have decided to divorce. To make things easier for the kids we are choosing to stay in one house until the end of the school year. My husband thinks we shouldn’t tell the kids until we’re ready to move and they are out of school (another six months). Is…
Read MoreDon’t my kids have the right to know the truth?
Sometimes due to our own hurt and pain, you or the other parent may feel strongly that children need to hear the truth. In some families, one parent may be very committed to assigning blame for the divorce. Holding one parent exclusively responsible for the divorce often creates a confusing and difficult situation for children.…
Read MoreMy Kids Keep Asking “Why?” What Should I Tell Them?
Understand that it will take time for your children to come to grips with the idea that the family is changing. Accepting divorce is a process. Gradually different questions, issues and thoughts about the divorce will come up for your children and as they do, it’s only natural for them to question why. Asking “why?”…
Read MoreWhat else do my kids need to hear?
“Besides telling them we are getting a divorce what else do my kids need to hear?” Key messages your kids need to hear from Mom and Dad. Use the examples below as a guide to help you come up with what to say to kids about why you are getting a divorce. Kids will also…
Read MoreWe have children that are different ages; do we tell them together or individually?
Nobody knows your children better than you. Use your best judgment when it comes to deciding whether you should talk with kids separately or all together. Important factors to weigh out are: Take into consideration that children in the same family often manage their feelings about divorce in very different ways. Some children may react…
Read MoreShould we tell the children together?
Ideally, it’s best if both parents can talk with children together. However, this is only recommended if you and the other parent are able to responsibly manage both your feelings and your opinions about the divorce. In some divorce situations, parents may not agree about why things didn’t work out or be in different stages…
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